the end of the road, Jack.

Holy crap (silence....................................................................eye blink.............................silence........)

That about sums it up for me—we have finished our program and I am still in a state of shock and disbelief that the most intense and jam-packed 9 months of my life is done and over. AND I DID IT!!!! SO surreal that I am crossing this finish line, but so very very satisfying. This year has felt like a constant wave after wave of transformation and challenge for me. Not a bad thing by any means, but who woulda known? And that’s the best part.

Now looking back on everything that I have experienced, I think to myself “why did I even try and imagine what it would be like?” because the reality was not even close to what I imagined in many ways—the school experience, the people I met, the opportunities to travel, the friends made, the challenges of dealing and understanding myself, etc. (I wish I could explain it to you in a couple of sentances but it's impossible so we'll just have to sit down and chat about it one day). But I am so thankful that it came out like that, like a constant surprise, because one of the most important things I have learned is that there is so much beauty in watching things unfold as they will naturally and unknowingly. I have spent so much time previous to this year trying to plan out my future down to practically pinning down a 401K that once that future came, it wasn’t as exciting or satisfying because I had been expecting exactly that the whole time. It’s not that now I don’t want to have any kind of plan, it’s that I am just much more flexible with how this plan can work itself out. For example on a much smaller scale, I skipped class the other day (on Ethics, haha) very spontaneously. Not because I didn't want to go or wasn't prepared, but as I was going through my morning routine, I got distracted halfway through getting dressed and started to watch a documentary on positive thinking and the power of the mind, which I managed to completely justify my missing class. See? I ended up still halfway in my pajamas, eating breakfast and loving this piece on the human mind...and I felt so good afterwards. It's so funny how things happen that might surprise you when you allow yourself alittle more flexibility for all the different possibilities in your life--there are SO MANY. And you know what? The slower this happens, the better. Then you get time to remember the details of your experience, rather than just flying through things just so you can check off items on your life to-do list. Hellooooooo---quality, not quantity. Do you follow me?

A friend called me a hippie the other day, to which I replied, “But I wear Banana Republic.” Oh wow Kate. Sometimes even I am surprised by what comes out of my mouth, but even there I saw some flexibility in being the person that I am.