learning the hard way

What a disaster of a day. Yesterday I succcessfully gave the absolute WORST presentation of my life infront of all my peers and a professor. And i had to get feedback infront of everyone from a peer and the prof and I know they were trying so hard in their most polite manner to dance around the obvious evaluation of "IT SUCKED." ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. so bad. I cannot beleive how embarrassing that was. I couldn't even answer questions for debate because I was so flustered. Everyone has a story like this though, it's what makes us all human. Classmates were so concoling, after I coaxed it out of them to tell me how truthfully horrible it was. They offered support and stories of past carwrecks to make me feel better. So sweet. And after a couple of tears on the walk home, I managed to be laughing at the whole situation by the time I reached my doorstep, that is, after I tripped and fell with a whole group of kindergartners there to witness. How humbling. But the hardest thing was today I had to get right back up and give ANOTHER presentation. And the girl who was a specialist on the subject sat dead center, with a stone cold sober look on her face. OH NO. Did I do something to piss God off???Suddenly flashbacks from yesterday streamed through my mind. And then I began...You'll be relieved to hear that it went better, not like I won 6-0, 6-0, but more like 6-4, 7-5. So baby steps is what I'm thinking here...gaining experience and acquiring the right tools takes a little bit of time and I am determined to "just keep swimming" as Nicki so wisely quoted. Someone throw me a life jacket just in case. Or maybe just alert the Coast Guard that I'm out there.

Beautiful fall weather, long sleeves and leather, the leaves are falling in Budapest. I love it.

There was a marathon run the other day in Budapest and it made me think of the great Twin Cities Marathon in the fall. It is always nice to see how runners bond together to help each other complete the often painful journey of 26.2 miles. It's a universal thing, no translation needed there...maybe I should propose this method of survival to the rest of my Master's program department.

More stories later. Love from afar.