acting in kindness

NEWS FLASH --- Kindness is universal.

I don't want to insult your intelligence, but people respond to kindness. This isn't just a one country kind of thing. I have come upon this through a variety of ways while in Budapest, the most recent being this morning on my walk to school. I usually walk at a slow pace, as I have learned a more relaxed manner of "being" in this part of my life for some reason. I think maybe because prior I had been moving in fast forward and now all of the sudden my body is rejecting any speedy movements. This relaxation even shows in my face which is often found to be in a smile even when I am not deliberatley trying to smile, something similar to the feeling of too much vicodin. That's nice. Anyways, I was walking to school this morning relaxed as ever and I was passing many people trying to make eye-contact with each one. I have to tell you two things before I continue--one, this country is not famous for smiley people, let's get that clear, and two I have to tell you that I am attempting an OBSCENE amount of eye-contact during my day because I want to improve my confidence in front of audiences for my next presentation and I figure this is a good way to start. HAHA. we'll see. So as I am walking along, I set my sights on an old lady walking towards me with a large bag in one hand and a small dog in her other, and I target in on her, deciding that she will be the lucky lady who gets my "best" eye-contact this morning. OH AND DOES SHE EVER. As we get closer and closer, my stare gets more focused and intense and then BAM-we make eye contact!! I think maybe it came across as a little too much, because she returned my look to me as if I just spit in her face, knocked her down and run off with her dog. Whoops. I might have to tone it down a little. But anyways, point is I tried to radiate kindness and although the outcome wasn't as hoped for, I will try again no doubt and my good intention was so completely there. A part of me wanted an above-average morning so I think I subconsciously gave her too much "Kate", a little too much moi on purpose. But I know she will think about me later in her day and if not smile to herself because of it, at least she will laugh at my ridiculous look. And that's fine with me.

Another act of kindess which I distinctly remember was one earlier in December during a particularly stressful final week of school. I was supposed to meet with a writing advisor to help improve a paper, however I had written down the time of the appointment wrong and ended up missing him. She responded to this abscence with a genuine email sent quickly to my inbox asking if anything serious had happened and if i was okay, ending with a request to please confirm that nothing bad had happened. She was probably thinking I had given up on things since our last session began basically with "why did you bring me this paper because it is so bad." But when I got home and checked my email from that day and opened up her email, I found myself in tears of appreciation over this ordinarily so mundane thing because of her sincere care and concern for me. These tears might also have been due to the fact that I was operating on "stress-level-BLAZING-FIRE-RED" but I find that I respond particularly to kindness because I know how much of a difference it makes even when you think it won't.

Or even simply in befriending a person, I have seen how kindness works wonders. There is this classmate of mine who is an absolutely superb academic. She has a higher level degree already and many other accolades under her belt at such a very young age. She is one of the brightest and most professionally qualified people I have met while at CEU. However, what she has in brains, she lacks a little in people skills. This is where I come in. In the first semester I had noticed that while she had done well, in fact starred in classes, she was still looking sad and you could feel that while around her. No one really spent alot of time talking to her. She wasn't so fantastic with people, especially women. This came as a bummer to me because I don't care how many friends you have, as a woman, you still need your girlfriends. It is a necessity. I don't know how I would've gotten to where I am without mine. So gradually I started to spend time with this girl even without her prompting. And yes, at first she was very cold and bland with me, but I kept up knowing that this friendship would take some time because being kind also means allowing a sense of vulnerability for some people. But she warmed up to me over the course of the semester and now we are even good friends. And her kindness that was not showing before IS NOW showing, and not just to me, but to everyone, which is so great. I am so happy for her because really, who likes feeling cold and stand-offish? No one I think.

I am so thankful for kindess, especially being so far from home. Some days even a stranger staring you down like a hawk zoning in on her prey makes you feel good.